While Gaius Julius Caesar may disagree February 29th, or possibly any entire year containing February 29th, brings something far more dangerous than a gang of aged senators wielding knives. The danger presented today are gold diggers. These vile individuals barely qualify as people; if you even want to call them that. This behavior is beyond abhorrent; I personally rank gold diggers below the scum on the bottom of my shoe. Gold digging should be illegal as it is simply theft that goes one step further than taking your stuff, they also steal your heart; don’t succumb to the weakness of emotions man, or woman, up and keep your wits about you.
Ladies and gentlemen of means take care; while gold diggers sound like good, hardworking people who go to the mines and rivers to prospect gold they’re not. Today gold diggers will attempt to dupe you into caring for them and believing they care for you; ensorcelling you with their charms and curves just to lure you and your money into a trap. Ah yes, why is today so dangerous? Women can ask men to marry them today so gentlemen keep the cars in the garage, lock away your watches and cufflinks in the safe, and skip shaving and the shoe shine to look a disheveled as possible. To my socioeconomic contemporaries while you should know how to spot this nonsense please take extra care today and remember even the best of us can be fooled by this despicable trickery. On a final note don’t worry about hurting gold digger’s feelings, they don’t have any it is like worrying about hurting the feelings of a pet rock with 36x24x36 dimensions.
If you don’t heed my advice you’ll find yourself thinking et tu Brute.
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Editorial Note: If anyone is wondering why this is tagged under M&A, what exactly do you think marriages/relationships are?
Editorial Note II: I was just going through old notes and by happenstance found a checklist that you might find helpful.
She (He) Must Be:
1. Moral
2. Intelligent
3. Gorgeous
4. Sophisticated
5. Funny
6. Will actually go out with me*
7. Likes to drive with the top down**
*HaHa
**the top not her top; this is a family site
my brain hurts. I want my time back.
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